BB bought me my favourite candy with all his life savings!
(P.S. My boyfriend is broke all the time :X)
SO SWEET! MMMMMMMMMUACKS!




MMMM! Can't bare to eat it, but I have to! Promise to fill it when its empty :)
Thats if you bring me to Central, okie!


You're mine!! HAH HAH.
Thanks for withstanding my every ridiculous mood, you are soooooo loved,
FRANCIS LEE.
XOXO.

Now that I realize, that I'm always alone.. how I'd always stand my ground. Never imagined how much I really struggled while growing up but still had to put up a brave front and deceive myself that everything seemed alright when it's not.

I'm really fed up whenever my tears leaks like a broken faucet, and also with my rotten temper which ticks of like a bomb spontaneously.

For every minute I lie, the anger builds up. I can't stay angsty.. I don't want to.. I'm hurting people who had no intentions of causing any harm.. I'm hurting myself, the sole victim of my own tragedy.

Growing up had really never felt so painful.. I'm tired.. Really.. Now I found out the reason... I can only pray that it will get by faster cause I know it will never get better.

I want out. It's killing every inch in me...

Finding it so hard to fall asleep peacefully every night. Can't find a good reason either for feeling so lethargic but yet feeling mentally awake.
Mental torment. A devil in me that refuses to sleep.
Sigh.

The only time I come back here now is when I'm feeling down. Now you know.
Sigh, anyway.. Work hasn't really taken it's toll on me.. Though I have been feeling pretty drained out lately.. Especially today. I feel like cursing out mother-fuckingly loud. Fuck. Fuck the 107 cartons of fucking products. FUCK YOU. Omg. Shiok.
I packed till my uniform from white turned to black. Pack from 3PM all the way till 9.30PM. Pack till I even forgotten dinner that my colleague had to remind me: "HUNGRY LEI, go eat lei! Dinner time!" :( Damn fucking tired today. And yet I have to make my day worse. Don't wish to talk about it, but I'm feeling damn horrible. Like there's a stone in my heart. I hate that feeling..
I'm sorry that my family was never perfect, sorry that my life was never perfect, sorry that I was never perfect.
I'm sorry now that love is also getting imperfect...
I think I can't sleep. Tonight. How can I even sleep.
Thanks Jolene for the guilt trip you brought upon yourself.

Obstructions.
:(

Fuck the weekends. I hate it, especially when I have to slog on it.
Fuck the day.
Fuck myself.
Fuck.

Fucked.

I hate my life. Really. Always thinking how it could been.. If it had been..
Fuck. Seriously.

Don't you get it????

I don't even know what am I angry over with right now.

Haven't you heard too, I'm having a pretty bad day too?

Now that I realize that I am such a selfish girl who gets past it at certain times because I am a tad too oblivious that I am. I never undestand how someone feels and I pretty much upset them.
I am wallowing in self pity and practically cringing in my own mental and physical hurt. I. I. I. Get it now?
I am seriously hurting in and out and I'm alone in this because I refuse!
Damn it, I.

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because when I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear, Oh darling I wish you were here

Slurps, the excitement! WOOO LOVING IT, BABY. ;) Haha.
Sorry to all as you guys need to bear with my disappearing act., LOL.

Anyway, my not so big Two-Oh is drawing closer, and not that it's that exciting.. It's seriously a dread, 'cause I'm clueless about what I'm going to do on that day. Sigh. Actually all I want to do is SLEEP SLEEP and SLEEP. Best with baby by my side. WOOO. Lol. Whatever. I'll try to resurface again soon. I'm really busy and I'm on a secret mission! Hurr...

Toodles.

I can't believe I just wasted like 3 hours waiting for Miss Lee. Hell yeah am I frustrated. And the worst thing is, I am still god damn it waiting for her! SAVE ME, please! Sigh. Seriously, it's no joke having to wait alone here, by myself at the budget terminal! Sigh. And I don't know how long more! The only source of entertainment now is it one and only itouch ;( I miss bb badly. Sigh. On a brighter note, I just fixed my hair. Looking good for the day, hellelujah. Still. Waiting. Later!

Hello world, I'm back. AHAHA. Bored out of my wits now 'cause I'm rotting while Bb and his friends are mugging away for their finals. WAHAHA, long time since I did that :X I'm SCHOOL-FREE for the time being. Life has been great so far. Work is good, love is good and friends are well :) Mummy says I'm happier too, of course right? When you're in love, you're happy la! :) Hahahaha. So yeah, rotting my off day away, currently at AMK. My eyes are also hurting like _____ :/ But it's okay, mind over EYES. Lol. My lappy is also dying off soon. ZZZ. STUDY LA BB, SEE SEE SEE. Lol. Will blog soon again. Wishing everyone well, and happy birthday to all AUGUST BABIES :)

Poof. Bb is my wonderall! Loves. Work tomorrow! D:

I'm awfully SICK, and TIRED. But thank God for Francis :)
Bb is love.

I LOVE MY BF AND BFF :D
<3

Someone please buy me a CHINESE dictionary or vocabulary book? I'm such a disgrace to my own race 'cause I can't even speak my freaking mother tongue coherently? Lol, being in a new environment and learning new products was pretty easy to adapt to. However, ask me to translate Moisturiser, Serum, Uplifting, Exfoliating or even PIMPLES to Mandarin is so fucking difficult. I'm such an utter disgrace, really. LOL. All I end up is speaking some chim broken sentences. Speaking to a PRC is seriously my WORST nightmare at work. I'm really afraid of giving them the wrong information, and then coming back to me to refund all our products 'cause I just disfigured their face? LOL. Sigh... I didn't really understood why I stopped and totally shut down to mother tongue actually. I'm curious myself how I even managed to scrape through it (with an ugly C6) during Os. LOL, well. My English ain't any better though. Sigh. If only both my languages got a B3, I wouldn't be in such a pathetic state today. Why oh why fate? Lol. Why Retail? HAHA.

Anyway, I need VITAMIN D therapy soon. I look really YELLOW now? Sick to the bone. Maybe Wednesday :) Just so you know guys, I'm really glad I quit my fucking job. I really am grateful to myself for making this decision, though I know it's not a big issue.. But I've never felt so relieved and REFRESHED :) I'm happy where I am today.

Hmmm, I just made Su-Hanna happy at work today :) For visiting her at work today, contributing to her sales and also buying her AHEM, and also some J.CO Doughnuts. I guess even without telling or saying, you somehow know what your bestie really likes. And really indeed, I bought her favourite flavoured doughnuts :) See, I'm the nicest and sweetest Jolebean on Earth :D Hahaha.. Just FYI, I almost fought with the staff and an Indian man while buying her doughnuts. Apparently, the cashier was so damn SLOW. I just wanted to pay for my freaking 2 doughnuts and I waited so looonnnggg for her to finish the conversation with the customer she was serving. And that, explains the long queue, lah. Oh and the Indian man... he was initially waiting in front of me. I kinda shamelessly cut his queue 'cause I was so pissed off that I have to wait so long to pay for 2 freaking doughnuts. ZZZZ. And apparently, he hasn't even ordered. Why the hell do you even queue when you haven't even choose your doughnuts?! So I tried to asked the cashier, CAN I AT LEAST PAY FOR 2 FREAKING DOUGHNUTS? So she served me first and the Indian man got so pissed off with us. He looked at the staff and then turned his eyes towards me, slammed the glass panel, walked away and walked towards me, gave me a DISGUSTING TSK! slammed the glass again, and  then walked off. WAH?!?!?!?! Okay, I mean if she wants to serve me first, then suck it up and BE A MAN?! Hello?! DISGUSTING. Not that I'm RACIST, it's the things they do that make people despise them! It's really ok if I have to wait awhile longer. I will still let him go first if he really insist 'cause afterall, I am behind him but, this man here.. is being SOOO ungracious?! I can't believe this man who seems to be in his mid 30s, is reacting in such a manner! He just fucking threw a tantrum at TWO LADIES, HELLO?, oh my goodness. I seriously don't know whether I should laugh at his reaction or to be pissed off with him. LOL. Fucking big ass baby. Sigh! It's because of these people here that made Singapore so UGLEH. Lol. I wasn't that mean, was I? :/ Sigh... I think I need to suck it up hard and show my bitchy side so people won't step on my head! LOL...

Well well, other than making her day, someone has been making my day, everyday too :D Thanks, silly.

Afraid again, keep me safe. Please..

Not saying I was thin once, I have never expected to look actually this small size! LOL.

Taken in my year 2 class chalet in April 2008. Woo, look small huh?

And then, there were also times when I'm as FAT as a pig.

Chinese New Year, Febuary 2009.

The point is, my body weight has been fluctuating like a mother f. And this is not a good sign. Sigh. Wonder how it will affect my health in the near future. Thank goodness I don't look like that picture now. LOL.

Hmmmmm...
Just in case you haven't seen for a long while, this is how I look like now. LOL..

Woah, kinda like this expression. LOL. Okay okay... something more decent :X

HAHA, smile! :)

Off to bed now, I'll be at Toa Payoh working later! $$$$ YAY. DESSERTS AND RIDES EQUALS LOVE!
:D very very very happy girl!

I got so many thoughts running through my head it's driving me up the wall.. Not that I love to think about it, it's getting into me even when I don't want to. Save myself, I got to.. I just wished everything came to an end. When will all this end, when will all this go away. So much now I can't sleep. And I'm waking up in 7 hours time. Work work work..

I'd promise myself that everything is going to be okay. Am I glad to be this way all the while. Happy happy happy.

Anyway, more bike rides to come!!!!!!! YAY!
Next destination: East Coast Park (not an exciting place here though). BUT, I can't wait!!!!! Soon, please? :))

Smiley smiley smiley. ACTING SLIM IS MY FORTE, haha. :)
Nights, I'll try to tire myself out now.

So hungry right now, and all I'm thinking is.....

OH. MY. GOD. A. GOD.DAMN. BIG. MAC.

AHHHHHH, hahahahahaha.
Anyway, I'm so in love with all the body lotions, scrubs, soaps whatever.
But I'm insane with BODY BUTTER.
I've become a body butter whore, and every single time is a MUST to be on my palms.
:) I'm trying to love my job, and I think I got the hang of it.
Wee.

Having starved since after lunch at 12pm, working for at least 4hours and dancing at 12am till 3am is fucking no joke, omg. I swear cereal and milk at 4am have never ever tasted so good! Lol, gf you must feel honoured really that I starved and actually went clubbing (gasp!!!!) with you when I told myself never to set foot in that sleazy place ever again. My bad.. Oh well, kinda excited and extremely anxious to work later. The 4 days have finally taken it's toll and finally, goodbye mf FOX. I've finally step out of my comfort zone. New line, new job. I'm feeling my days are really at stake. :/ send all of your regards, please. Good night!